A lesser man...

Teri Schiavo passed away today. At the same time, Jerry Falwell is on a ventilator and the Pope is being fed through a tube.

Take a moment to think about that. If Michael Schiavo, Judge Grier and a member of the Supreme Court were struck down with serious illnesses religious whack jobs would be jumping for joy and singing hymns. "See! God is punishing these evil men! He is punishing these evil men for disobeying his will".

But none of those people are sick. Instead, the Pope, Jerry Falwell and Teri Schiavo are (or were). A lesser man, a more bitter man, might point and scream "See! God is punishing these people! He is punishing these evil people for disobeying his will!". A lesser man would poke his finger repetitively into the chests of those sign waving, bible quoting, slack-jawed fundies and say "I guess we know who God wants dead now, don't we? You were wrong. There was no miracle. Your wailing and hate-speak did nothing.!!"

But the whole flipping the situation on its head thing doesn't really work here. Although not a Catholic, I generally respect the Pope and much of the work he has done over the years. And Teri was not being punished by God here, she's been released from years of suffering. And Jerry Falwell, well... He's a bloated warthog and I don't feel his passing will really big that big a loss except to those on his payroll.

Maybe the message here is a simple one. Maybe God is speaking to us but like a bad game of 'telephone', the message has gotten horribly garbled. Maybe he's simply reminding us that well all die. That's it. It is inevitable. It's how the system works. No prayers, no medical procedure and no amount of money can change it. We all go sometime. Will these people learn from this farce? Not likely. They'll just keep waving their signs and babbling on about morals and Gods will, which to me is pretty arrogant.

Anyone who says "I think I speak for GOD, when I say that..." is someone who is looking to cause trouble. Stay away from people like this. If God has something really important to say, he can damn well speak for himself using a freakin' pillar of divine fire.

Enjoy your weekend people. Go do something with you wife or husband. Turn off the TV. Go out in the yard and start cleaning out the dead leaves in the garden, there's new flowers just starting to peek out. The cycle starts again, just like its supposed to.

And now for something completely different

Here's alink to an Amazon.com page. Amazon has a neat system where people can list how to do things. Of course, to do these 'things' they're gonna need some 'stuff', which Amazon of course provides. So without further ado:

So you'd like to...kill a dude

I am glad that Amazon.com cares enough to help me inflict my squirrly wrath upon my enemies.

North Carolina

Its a haul, but its no trip to florida. We arrive in good order. Our
space is decent. Setup was trouble-free. This makes me nervous.

The event is held in a fairground that is massive enought to hold the
renfair, a dog show, and some kind of NASCAR event. After setup we
locate food and go see 'million dollar baby' which is oddly timely
considering the Schiavo case in florida. Good film, though I don't know
if it was oscar material.

The weather is threatening and sunday is Easter. We're not holding our
breath about sales. If they're good, they're good. Our competition is
here, carrying some of the corsets we carry. I will delight in crushing
him if at all possible. The guy is a rude jackass. Its too bad punching
people in the hooha is frowned upon in this day and age.

Be prepared

Yesterday was a great sales day. Despite gray skies and cool temps we
did great. We had dinner with the folks from Griffin Works Leather and swapped stories of deadbeat customers and ideas to help our businesses grow. It was suposed to rain last night, and Rossana wasn't feeling good so we
took lodging at a motel. We watched the weather channel as the ominous
green blotch that was an ugly storm moved towards us. No rains
showed themselves.

Today damned gray again, and despite the further threat of rain and
Easter holliday there are poeple here. Its slow, but I don't mind.

BTW the photo is the back of a cheap cd player I bought. I found this
notice when I went to put in the batteries, which is a process I am
fairly familiar with. Why is this sign here? Who gets paid to put this
piece of paper in every player? I wonder about these things...

This is Cat. If you know her you will notice 2 very important things.
1) She is wearing a dress and
2) She is wearing a corset.

Now I know you are thinking that this is a sign of the apocalypse, but just calm down. Take a deep breath. It will be ok... just relax...

No wait, we're doomed, she's wearing a freakin' corset! (Thanks for being a good sport cat.)

Short and sweet

I need to stay at home more because the government seems to do some dumb-ass things whenever I leave town. Last time, a war broke out. This time, the Federal government passed a law it had no right to pass. In a remarkable display of hypocrisy and heartstrings Congress passed a (unconstitutional)law to take the Terri Schiavo case to the federal level, despite it being gone over ad infinitum in the Florida court system.

Despite the fact that Terri's husband is her guardian, despite the fact that she is a vegetable (as determined by 5 doctors), despite the fact that she stated she would not want to live that way, her family and many lawmakers and religious zealots feel that this woman is simply needs the right kind of treatment and would rather spend the rest of her life lying in a bed, fed by a tube as she has for the past 15 years.

They state that removing the tube is cruel, as she is essentially dying of dehydration. In this I am in agreement. This is not the way to go. She is able to breathe and her heart functions on its own. There is no 'plug' to pull. The answer is simple. A massive morphine dose. This is quick and painless.

Allow me to take a moment here and make a statement, witnessed by you the public. In the event I am injured in such a way as my brain functions are destroyed or damaged beyond recovery, I DO NOT wish to be kept on ANY form of life support. I am gone already. The bed I am lying in and the resources used to keep me alive could go to someone else who might recover. My organs could help save a dozen lives. Further, if my autonomic functions are still functioning, I DEMAND that someone take me out. Morphine, pillow over the face, whatever it takes. I, nor any member of my family will press charges (the state is another mater).

Doctors are limited by the Hippocratic oath, which forbids them from doing harm. But what is more harmful? A non-life in a vegetative state? Starvation/dehydration? Or morphine? Let me even expand this. I firmly believe in the right to die. I support Dr. Kevorkian and his attemots to let people take their own life with dignity in cases where there is no cure and death will be slow and agonizing. Have you ever heard of Lou Gehrigs disease? Take a look and tell me that sounds like fun. Life for the sake of life is a truly naive and stupid way to look at the world.

I know that some people feel very passionately about this on both sides. If I have offended you I am sorry. I love life. I strive every day to enjoy it to the fullest. But I feel that once the quality of my life is significantly diminished, it is an insult to prolong it. And if you feel the same way, you better write it down and get it witnessed. You better make sure someone other than your wife/husband knows your wishes. Rossana and I have already done so.

As one congressman said "I estimate the cost of casting this special vote to be about 5 million dollars, I wonder how much healthcare we could have spent that on, how much education."

Here endeth the rant...

The Return of the KING baby...

We arrived home to a cold house. We had turned off all the heaters and it took a while to get the place back up to temperature. We kept a fire going most of the day and it felt great. There aren't a large number of campfires at Gulf Wars for reasons that elude me.

We have just enough time to do some laundry, fight our way through a massive stack of bills and mail and repack for our trip to North Carolina for a Ren-Faire. I did manage to steal a few hours yesterday to work with Grim on the shower/trailer project for this years Pennsic. The idea here is to convert a big-ass wooden box trailer I have into a portable showerhouse. The current process involves lots of different parts, plastic tubes and hoses which get taken home by different people at the end of the event. I have a van now so I'm donating the trailer to the camp. The idea is to make the entire shebang a self contained unit. Pull it up, hook up hoses and we're go od-to-go.
We dragged the trialer into the shop to see how bad things were. They were not pretty. I bought this trailer about 10 years ago and it has served me well. But weather and many miles have taken their toll. A leaf spring has broken and that has caused the axle to shift and a tire to be destroyed. We (and by 'we' I mean mostly Grim)used a grinder and my impact wrench (TOOLS!!)to remove tire and spring and make some inquiries for replacement part costs. Once the trailer is in rolling condition, we can begin to design the shower part of this thing in earnest.

Also, while we were gone, the guys we hired to do some drywalling finished a 24 foot Moorish Arch in the Moroccan room. It looks super cool. I can;t wait to paint it and begin decorating the room.

Fun mcfunfun

We're on our way home now. The event was a success. Wednesday and
Thursday were brutal, with the temperature dropping to 37 degrees. The
weather warmed up on friday and we pulled in some good sales. I got to
see the start of a fortress battle that made use of ballista and
catapults which was pretty damn cool.

We packed up Saturday night and tried to put some miles under our
wheels. On sunday we were slowed by a large chunk of metal that pierced
our rear tire, causing some tense driving moments. I managed to limp the
van to an exit where we learned that no one ever gets flat tires on
sunday, so there's no reason for any of the four tire places to be open.
(Insert swearing here).

I swapped out the crucified tire and got the spare on without too much
trouble. It was an unwelcome delay. We still need to stop at the Ohio
ren booth to see if it survived the winter unscathed. Its getting cold
again the further we go north. Where the hell is spring?

Blog failure

For some reason my past few blogs haven't posted. Wierd. Of course, this
post likely won't go either, so...what's the use?

Wolgemut

Today began well enough, cool and clear with one dying in the tent next
to us. (That would have been too creepy). But shortly after breakfast we
were informed by the 'powers that be' that we had to move our camping
tent across the road and move our selling tent back four feet. This
would suck big time. I found the proper officials and did some
negotiating. The end result was we only had to move our sales tent over
12 feet. Much less suck. A little flattery at the right time can do
wonders.

Sales were good until the rains came. We had to dig impromptu trenches
and then decided to close up and nap. Naps are good

The rain has continued, but a good dinner at Phils Grill and some
cheesecake makes all right with the world. Right now a german group
called Wolgemut is playing in the food area nearby. They are great
musicians and good showmen. Lots of energy, people dancing and clapping
to the rythems. We're safe and dry in our tent now, maybe the rain will
stop tomorrow, maybe it won't.

Say the funnist button today "No matter how sick the pope gets, they
won't take him to Lourdes". Rossana almost pee'd herself when she heard
that.

Cold as a...

Rain yesterday and last night. Cold as hell today. Our stock stayed dry
and so did we, which is good. Its been a loooong day. Tonight is
'Midnight Madness' when we are all expected to stay open till 12. Homey
don't play that. I've been up since 8am. So we could drive into town for
business supplies and to call my wonderful mother to wish her happy
birthday.

Things were looking pretty grim tonight until a couple actually bought a
corset an hour ago. I swore this last summer that I would NEVER have a
zero-sale day. I wasn't thinking about this show when I made that vow,
which traditionally is REAL slow (dead) during midnight sadness. I
suppose I am grateful for being in better shape than last year, when I
was suffering from food poisoning for three days at this event.
Tomorrows weather promisses to be an improvement. Its late now. I need
to close up shop and crawl into bed.

Death and taxes

Ill omens? I can't say. We stayed at a Comfort Inn last night near the
event site. This morning, as we were eating breakfast a man ran into the
office screaming for someone to call 911. The manager and I ran down to
the room next to ours. But there was nothing to be done. The mans wife
had obviously passed away in her sleep. The womans sister was
hysterical. Police and ems arrived in short order. I wasn't very hungry
after that. We daparted quietly.

We arrived on site and were shunted to a holding area where we had to
wait for troll to open (picture above). We eventually got on site and
set up. Set up at an outdoor event is three times harder than a
convention. There's a sales tent to set up, our camping tent, tables,
rug. This is all before stock gets unpacked and set up. Exhausted, we
dragged ourselves 20 miles to the nearest town to get our last semi
decent meal (god bless you Golden Dragon Buffet). Tomorrow the event
officially opens and we start makin money. At least, that's the theory.

On the Natchez riverboat

I've always wanted to take a cruise aboard a real steam powered
paddlewheeler, and now I've had the chance. It is not as romantic or
exciting as one may hope. Its a smooth rideand the air is clean and
cool. The banks of the river here are industrial and ugly. A dew
taterred palnation houses dot the landscape, but they are shadows of
their former glory here. I'd lile to contine down to the gulf, or
upriver, but this is only a 2 hour cruise. I could easily see myself
using this form of transportation 100 years ago.

We leave New Orleans today and head to Gulf Wars. God I'm going to miss
this city.

The breakfast of champions

Cafe au lait and beignets (a french donut) at the Cafe du Monde. This
place first opened around 1880.

After a walking tour of the Garden district we had lunch at Commanders
restaurant. Its listed at the best restaurant in the coiuntry by Zagat.
The food was outstanding and the service and setting amazing. To make up
for this pricey lunch we ate dinner at a greasy spood called deja vu.
Cheap but very filling, and plenty of room for a fight.

I hate you tmobile...

Due to a cock up with the servers at tmobile, my emailed postings are showing up out of order. We're in New Orleans right now, enjoying some absolutely great food. This is a kick-ass city and a must see for anyone who can't afford to travel abroad.

A pale imitation

Breakfast and dinner today were at 2 different casinos. Both were, at
most mediocre. Once you have tasted the delights of Las Vegas all else
is a pale imitation. I don't know why, but every time I go to a
substandard restaurant I want to fix it. I will not be content with
merely being dissatisfied or barking a complaint. I want to sieze the
manager and shake them furiously. We're eating in the pirate ship now,
and the staff are like a lazy crew. They know their jobs, but they
perform them with the minimum of energy and conviction. Then again,
these aren't the best jobs in the world to start with.

Sales were good today. We did our part to help the south be less singed
monkey butt hair ugly. Oh, and I saw Walter Koenig today. It was al I
could do not to jump up and down and demand that he say 'nuclear
wessels'.

Florida, Epcot, and tech support

We decided to take a quick jaunt to visit Epcot center in florida.
Rossana and I went during our very first trip as rennies about 15 years
ago. Getting there though, involves driving through florida. I don't
know what the hell is with this state. The standard mile stretches on
forever and time rushes by at a vastly accelerated rate. Thus, a trip
that should take 6 hours becomes 10 and requires 2000 extra miles to
reach our destination.

Epcot was very fun, especially test track and the space experience. We
ate in Morocco and the food and entertainment very great. We didn't buy
anything in the 'souk', the prices were too hight and the quality was
lacking from the real goods. I did take lots of pictures of walls, doors
and accent items.

On leaving Biloxi tmobile service took a dump. When I used a free wifi
spot in the lobby of our hotel last night to check my mail I got an
urgest email from a client telling me his online store wasn't working.
This shit happens every fucking time I am 1200 miles from my home. I
spent an hour working on it and sending emails to resolve the issue. On
returning to our room, I flug myself down on the bed in exhaustion,
which promptly collapsed. This morning I believe the issue is fixed and
tmobile is semi working. We're on the road to New Orleans to stay at a
former brothel.

The circus leaves town

The calm after

Dealer rooms are always scheduled to be open far longer than actually
do. At some unspoken signal, we quietly begin to retrieve our storage
tubs from our vans. At 4pm I look at the room and call it. We begin load
out. Rhe sky outside in quickly darkening. It could be rain. The van is
rearranged and we say some quick farewells and headed out for a
traditional post-show chinese dinner.

We'll have to figure out our next move now. Head to New Orleans or maybe
a hard push to Orlando and a trip to Disney. Hey, all work and no
play...

Why I love Waffle House

Down South they don't fuck around with regards to sugar. Up north, we
dole it out like magic pixie dust. But down here, sugar comes in a glass
bucket. Use all you want, we'll get more. Say what you will about the
South, they treat my sweet tooth right.

Another day, another cock up in the schedule. Our paperwork says dealers
room opens at 10. Upon arrival, it seems it doesn't open till 11. I
could have slept in another hour. Thanks you smacktards. With decent
sales yesterday, we hope to pick up one or two more today before
load-out, which is even more fun that set up.

Big-ass pirate ship

This is a casino across the sreet. The thing is massive, like three
stories tall. Someday I shall have a pirate ship/casino...oh yes...I
shall.

Sales picked up later in the day yesterday and we celibrated with a sea
food dinner followed by a wild evening on the down. And by wild evening
I mean we watched tv in our hotel room. Today dawns bright and cool. The
air is clear and the sun shines almost too brightly in the sky.

A rocky start

The above image is my dealers pass. It depicts a skeleton in a wreaked
car. What this has to do with scifi I have no idea. But its a pretty
good representation of my mood. We arrived on time and started load-in,
which is always fun in the same way dental surgery is fun. The dealers
room is a craptastic hall across from the host hotel. Its a condemned
building. Litereally. After this con, they're tearing it down. This will
be no great loss. It has all the charm of a vfw hall and smell like cat
piss. Although pleasant outside, the room is freezing. Not a great
start.

Signs of the times

This photo is of the front of a big-ass gas station. In a burst of
creativity that their home office would dissaprove of, they built a
small pond. Its about 12 by 4 feet and 6 inches deep. Now take note of
the signs. I can't be sure if this is funny or a sad statement on
american inteligence.

The road goes ever on and on. We're almost to Biloxi. We're running
behind. A nasty accident held on immobile for almost an hour last night,
and this morning an unearthly fog covered the state like a shroud.

Somewhere in Kentucky

When we stopped for gas we found this great roadside relic. "The Ole
Genr'l Store" is a string of five or six old buildings absolutely
stuffed with all manner of stuff. Geodes, antiques, walking sticks,
preserves, you name it. Its run by a nice old couple. I had to get some
pics. This kind of place won't be around in 10 years. It will be leveled
and turned into another clean, efficient BP or Sheetz with a layout
exactly like the one in your hometown.

Windows Dressing Fun - Part 1

This is the view of our local video store from the street. Details
below.

Windowdressing fun - Closer look = Funny

Here's the sign next to the snowman. Read it all, its truly disturbing. Life in a small town makes people funny I guess.

'Gay' apparently naughty now.

This is a little messed up. Apparently there are teams of people who play something called Pro Sports. When they play these games, which involve ass slapping and showering together, they wear clothing with their team colors, name and number. (I once wore a colored uniform with my name and a number on it, but that was only until the witness had an 'accident' and I was released for lack of evidence).

So, as a fan of these sports, it stands to reason that you too might like to spend $80 to buy a replica of the jersey they wear, so that you can make believe that you 'got game', or whatever, while eating chili cheese fries at your local sports bar. Lucky for you the NFL now has a place where you can make your own jersey. You can choose your favorite color, number and name. Unless you try to use the work 'Gay', of course. When you enter this most horrible of words, you will be rejected. Originally, the site said that you are not allowed to use 'Naughty' words on your shirt. This site was changed after people, one of whom actually played pro football and is named Gay, complained. The restriction is still in place, but the rejection notice is more impersonal. For the story, check here.

Of course we can't let people use just ANY words. That kind of unregulated freedom of speech is reserved for communist countries like Canada. In fact, there are over 1,121 words you can't use on your $80 shirt. And Gay is one of them, along with 'Homo', 'Lesbian' and oddly, 'sexy'. The following words were not offensive though; 'Terroris't, 'Cocks', 'Bin Laden' & 'Hitler'.

I went to the site and made my own design. Although I am upset at the company for being asshats, my design is pretty sweet.