Bigus Dickus

It seems that the Roman legionnaires are getting a bit unruly.

Y'know, this is why the Senate forbid the armies of Rome within the city. Once Julius Ceasar had his troops cross the Rubicon, it was bound to happen ...

Or am I using waaaaaaay obscure references here?

Before and After

I went back and found some of the earliest pics I took of the house and compared them with how things look now. Wow. Pretty drastic changes! All all this is three years. I think we're done with big changes for now. Please dear god, please let us be done...



Here's a more static gallery of Before and After if flash ain't your thing

Cool

A lego aircraft carrier.

Beantown

I managed to get a relatively cheap flight to Boston at 8:30 this morning. The plane left at 9:45. I don't know how I made it but I'm glad I did. It's a 12 hour drive, and while I like driving, it would have eaten up too much time.

It's been just over a year since I last saw my Dad but upon arriving at his Chelmsford home my first impression is that he looked better than the last time I'd seen him. Yes, he's in a neck brace, but it's not as scary as I thought it would be. He's got lots of energy, no scars or bruises. His color is great and apparently he lost a little weight in the hospital. Damn.

His mobility is impaired. The collar bugs him, as it would anyone. He's taking Ambien to help him sleep and it seems to be working. Over the last two years my sleep cycle has kinds sucked and I'm wondering if it might help me.

We talked a lot, which he (and I) love to do, had a great meal and watched his ginormous projection TV. I've managed to make myself useful by getting his printer to talk to his computer again. His DVD-Rom is not working, but that should be a quick fix.

It's hard to relax after so many weeks of busting ass on the house. I need to shop for some jeans. I managed to destroy three pairs doing house stuff. I also wiped out two of my most comfy tshirts but I have lots of those.

Ta Da!!!!!!

The party went pretty damn well. Good weather, maybe too good. A bit warm for all. Many huddled under the new roof chowing down on the amazing amount of food that was available. We got a lot of compliments about the new roof and stucco.

As always, there wasn't enough time to sit and talk with anyone at any length. And there were a lot of people. I got to try a friends new bow, very nice. Alas, I didn't have a string for the crossbow I got on ebay. Frisbee hack had a few new twists this year, and once again, no one cut their own head off. I had hoped to have fighting radio controlled Pirate ships but only one was ready. Maybe next year.

The record for longest distance travelled to attend was 1160 miles by Ms Aleta who narrowly beat out my long time friend Jim Taber who came 1158 miles. I need to find some friends in the UK. That was this can be "An International Party".

The fireworks.... well, what can be said. We got a lot of them. Maybe too many. This was supplemented by my friend Travis. As always, safety was the watchword. (Stop snickering) Last years theme was "The Polish Space program" this year? "Here, hold my beer".

So loud and so large was the display, that we actually had a neighbor complain about it. Luckily I have 'people' to handle such annoying persons. He threatened to call the police . We calmly informed him that it was only 9:30 at night and that we had a licenced, trained pyrotechnition on hand and that the show would be over soon. Some of those statements were actually true.

What was really cool was the clean up crews that picked up the trash and helped clean up the fireworks debris.Very cool. It made Sunday's clean up much easier. People were also very generous with donations to help defray the cost of the fireworks. Thanks guys.

If anyone has any pics (As I once again too none) please email them to me. I'll throw up a gallery for them.

If you missed the party, it sucks to be you. You missed a great shindig. If you didn't get an invite, I apologize. I try to exclude no one. Send me your email and snail mail address for next year.

Its go time

The party is almost here. We're down to the last few projects. I am very glad of this, because I feel like I have been in a perpetual state of filthy for the past 30+ days. Seriously. I have been covered in some kind of filth, paint, stain, mud, mortar or glue for over a month. I have destroyed two pairs of pants and three shirts. Rossana has worked even harder than I have and Lindsey has helped out with all kinds of no fun projects.

The end results though, are pretty impressive. I won't post any pics until after the party. It should be big. Today I hit the fireworks store and again I was UNSUPERVISED. I went way overboard this time. Really. This show will be amazing, but I'm going to need to put out a donation jar to try and recoup the large chunk of change I dropped on this fantasia. I have no ability to say No to things that go boom.

It will be great to see my friends. Sometimes this is the one time a year I get to see some of these people. After the party I'm going to visit my Dad up in Boston. Then it's back to work. Great Lakes Medieval Faire opens soon.

A waste of air...

I am going to spend a moment to talk about Paris Hilton. That's right. Paris Hilton. I didn't want to. But I am forced by events to comment on this walking bag of uselessness.

I was happily minding my own business, checking CNN to see the news of the day. There's lots going on in the world and I was hoping for some updates. How's the G8 summit going? Will the shuttle launch on time? Is Alberto Gonzales out of a job yet? But I couldn't get any information about these news items because Paris Fucking Hilton was there in all her file footage glory. I waited, but that sack of antlers wouldn't go away. Why not? I actually tuned in my brain for a moment.

It seems that Paris was going to jail. Why? Well apparently she was busted for DUI. She got probation, a fine and had to take a class. Then she got caught driving on a suspended license. They she was pulled over for doing 70 in a 35 zone while STILL suspended.

So a judge said,"You going to jail" and sentenced her to 45 days in the pokey. According to her loyal friends and fans, this was akin to sending her to Gitmo. She showed up, spent four days in jail, and was released, supposedly for "medical reasons" and would apparently serve the rest of her 45 days under house arrest.

I'd like to take a moment to clarify some things. First. It's very likely she would only spend 23 days in jail. The jails are very crowded in California and they was to save space for the violent offenders. Two. For anyone worried she was being raped or at risk of being shived. She wasn't. She was in a segregated section reserved for celebrities, police, politicians or anyone else is likely to be hassled while serving time.

By now you're saying "What the fuck?" and rightly so. The judge wasn't very pleased either and had her hauled back to court this morning. After that, she was thrown back in the pokey for the full 45 days.

I will admit that at this point, I'm hooked. I want to know what happens next to Paris Hilton. You've won, mass media. I can't help it. What should have been a simple life lesson about why we shouldn't drink and drive, and drive... and drive... has turned into a fiasco.

There is some confusion about who has authority with regards to early prisoner release. It may be that the sheriff has a certain amount of discretion in these cases. But the judge had specifically stated that she wouldn't be getting off with a suspended sentence, or house arrest. The prosecutor asked the judge if maybe the sheriff was in contempt of court. That's pretty serious. The prosecutors office fielded hundreds of angry calls and emails about this bullshit, and rightly so.

Luckily the judges order seems to be the final word. She's in jail and will remain there. She was apparently in tears and they took her from the courtroom saying "It's not fair!" and calling for her "Mommy".

I would like to point out that I have no problem with the segregated accommodations she got. And I am not so cold that I would insist a sick person remain imprisoned without medical attention. If she's sick, get her a doctor. If she's unhappy, well that's just too fucking bad. Jail isn't Disneyland.

And crying and screaming for her mom? This woman is 26 years old. Show some fortitude. You'll live. Consider growing up.

I am curious to know exactly how this situation went from routine to fucked up so fast.

It's easy at this point to swing right into a rant about what a stupid, spoiled rich slut she is. But I will refrain. It's wrong to hang your morals on someone else. Yes, she recorded herself having sex and then marketed it herself. Where some would se an opportunistic slut, others would see a market savvy entrepreneur. Maybe her parents have a more European view about sex. Fair enough. And her drug use? Same thing. Neither of my parents has berated me upon learning that I tried marijuana. Of course, that's all I have tried. Paris Hilton parents must be VERY European to be cool with cocaine, heroin or bulimia.

And it's certainly not a requirement that you do something useful with your life and the millions you get just for existing. It's weird. Paris stands there and is a beloved celebutante. Bill Gates has given away BILLIONS for charitable causes and is still viewed as the Antichrist.

So your life consists of a TV show that repeatedly shows you to be vapid, shallow and stupid. You are paid to be pretty. You incessantly party. You take drugs and engage in videotaped sex. You use racist terms a lot when you think people aren't watching.

Fine.

It's your life. But once you get behind the wheel of a car drunk, you've crossed a line. And when you ignore the rules and reality in general, you cross another line. So when you get sent to jail for breaking the law, you really have no reason to complain. You had your chance. You blew it. Sorry you got dicked around for a day, but oh well. Lot's of people get dicked around by the legal system every day. Some people spend years in jail on false evidence. Shit happens. You'll get over it kid.

This won't stop the circus of course. There are high priced attorneys to be hired, tearful interviews with her parents, lawsuits to be filed, scandalous tabloids to be printed. Protests, online petitions and a swarm of media gnats buzzing around every aspect of this case like flies around shit.

In all of this I really can't but wonder about the parents. I know parents love their children, even their fucked up ones. They often love and support them, even when they do stupid, illegal and morally questionable things. But at some point you have to realise you've fucked up. Yes, she may be genetically defective. But you raised her and so the finger points mostly to you. Maybe shielding her from the world isn't the answer guys. Maybe she needs to learn her lesson. It doesn't mean you don't love her. It just mean you won't be her enablers.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog

Squeee!

Although I do not have the hefty chunk of Krugerands they want for these, I am nevertheless covetous of them. Maybe someday when I crack the secret of turning lead into gold I shall buy all three. Until then, I shall be content with watching this cracking good commercial:

Wow

This is pretty impressive. Super detailed doll house scale model of Bag End. Sweet. The pictures are pretty big and there are a lot of them, low bandwidth visitors beware. Go check it out!

Curse or statistical fluke?

Is my annual family get together cursed? Looking back ober the last three years. The first year I wasn't feeling well. When my wife finally talked me into seeing the doctor it turned out I had strep throat AND walking pneumonia. Last year, Rossana popped her knee out while gardening. This year? My Dad has an accident (although is wasn't here, he WAS scheduled to be here in a few days).

I'm starting to see a pattern here...

And now the bad news...

The message on my voicemail was from my Dad. He was scheduled to drive his bike down from Boston next week for an annual visit. But his voice was off and he said he wasn't going to make it.

When I called he told me he'd been in a car accident. He's flipped his truck four times and was in the hospital with 2 fractures in his C2 vertebrae. I waited for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm okay. I can move my hands and feet alright. It looks like I'll be in a neck brace for about three months."

While it's never good to hear your parent has been in an accident, at least he wasn't paralysed or crippled. He's in pain but refuses the powerful stuff. He's lost some feeling in his scalp and his face hurts from the airbag. No one else was hurt in the accident. The truck was, needless to say, totalled.

He loved that truck.

Not knowing what to do I went to the store and bought a 'Get Well' card and a box of cookies. I eat when I'm stressed sometimes. I kinda flipped out a little in the car outside the supermarket put pulled it together. I went home and stared cleaning my desk (another thing I do when I get freaked out). I'm glad he's alright. Even at 39 I'm not ready to deal with the mortality of my parents.

Horay!!

My brother Goodman just got engaged! I'm geeked! And it looks like the wedding will be in November. I am really happy for him. It looks like we'll be visiting Austin again. It's a great city. I wonder if I'll get a chance to visit the Alamo Drafthouse again?

Oh, and she's wiccan. Sweet.