What the...?

On a completely different note, SPACEBALLS was quite possibly the worst goddamn movie ever. I have a highly developed sense of humor. I find mirth in both high and low forms of comedy. I appreciate the folksy wit of A Prarie Home Companion AND a good hit to the groin  (someone else's groin of course).

So when I say SPACEBALLS was the biggest turd of a movie I have ever seen I am not exagurating. Rossana walked out of it. I wanted those 90 minutes of life back with interrest. 

So what does Hollywood do? They make an animated series out of it. 

Wow. It just boggles the mind. I watched the trailer, just in case it had some kind of redeaming quality. But no. It's still a turd. An animated turd. I won't even link to it. 

Really Hollywood, this is the best you can do? I hate you.

We're okay (and hope you are too)

This was by far the crappiest weekend by far.

I drove up to Michigan on Friday. Rain. Saturday? Tons of rain. The Michigan Ren site quickly flooded. Why? Because instead of using rock or pea gravel or ANYTHING sensible they use MULCH to somehow fix the flooding. It's a running joke there. It's like "More cowbell". They just keep dropping more mulch. And what does mulch do? It helps retain moisture for garden plants. It is NOT designed to effectively move water.

As a result the ground becomes a soggy mess. It always does when it rains but this was the worst time by far. The drains get clogged with mulch. Streets become almost impassable and everyone is miserable.

The rain was apparently part of the hurricane Ike weather system. And while Sunday dawned with no rain, the remanants of IKE itself were moving East from Chicago. I could see it moving in on my phone, a solid wall of smite.

And yet we stayed open. There were only about 1000 people through the gate, everybody else had some common sense. Then the rain started. And it just kept getting heavier. Our booth isn't one of the highest point of the show, but we do sit on a slight rise which keeps us from flooding, but an hour into the rain the water was running up to the edge of our booth on one side. Merchants were digging drainage trenches and creating impromptu levies. When I went out to grab some food, the kid behind the counter was standing in about 4 inches of water. That seems safe as all hell.

At 3pm or so they finally closed the show. I packed up and went to my car, which was parked on high ground. But it didn't matter where you parked, everything was super saturated. Every inch of ground. I helped push 5 cars out of the mud. I don't want to sound mean, but some of these people just don't know how to drive in mud. They would just gun the engine and dig thenselves into a hole, shoving mud under their car and into their wheel wells. By the time I got to my car I was soaked and encrusted with mud. The Honda performed very well and I got out of the lot without getting stuck. Many others weren't so lucky. There were three tow trucks on site and I wonder if the festival was covering the costs of helping people out. I doubt it. I went to the campground and changed into some dry clothes and basically passed out for a while. But the rains increased and so did the winds. I didn't want to risk being in a tent if some tree gave way so I headed for home.

And I was the LUCKY one.

On sunday 40-60 mph winds hit the Ohio show. It took out trees on the site, knocked over porta johns and actually tore the front of a booth off. Then the power went out. They waited almost an hour to decide to close the show. I got a call with this news and recommended they stay put, but its was pretty miserable there and they wanted to go home. Lindsey and Jesse went to Columbus for dinner and Rossana went straight toward home. But power was out all along I-71 and she discovered well into the trip she almost out of gas. Several phone calls back and forth. I reached Lindsey and made sure she had gas. I told her she might have to get a gas can and bring fuel to Rossana, but then I couldn't reach Rossana and I didn't know where she was on I-71. Then a message, she was forging ahead. Then I couldn't reach her phone at all. Cell phone communication was pretty useless and only added to my stress level. Rossana pressed on and made it to a gas station on fumes.

Friends on site say our booths are still standing but were put under a lot of stress. We need to go out and check them out and make some repairs. One Rennie camper and car was crushed by a tree, killing their dog.

I guess all the rain went North and all the wind were South. In any case it sucked donkey balls all around. Bag End is okay. Some damage to trees and a lot of debris but nothing serious. I hope everybody out there is okay and safe. I grabbed two pics and a little vid.

Here's a short vid. There's a red brick path next to our booth that makes it passable, everyplace else on site is mulch over a foot deep.

Immature but gratifying...

On my way to the Michigan show last weekend I was re-routed by road construction. It's a minor aggravation but what can you do but grumble and move on.

As I cruised along at a sluggish (for Michigan) 80 mph into Detroit I noticed a few motorcycle cops.

Hmmmm. 'Must be an accident somewhere, I hope rubberneckers don't slow everything to a crawl.'

Then I saw two more, then a highway patrol car. Then another. What gives? Then I noticed that there were NO cars on the other side of the road. I looked up ahead and saw a LOT of flashing lights approaching.

And then it hit me. McCain was doing a campaign stop in Detroit. This MUST be his motorcade.


Well, it's unlikely that I'll ever meet the man. I'd love to debate policy, both foreign and domestic for hours on end, but I only had a few moments to think of how to communicate my position vis a vis his party and politics.

So I did what came naturally to any Ugly American. I pulled into the left lane, rolled down my window, leaned on the horn and gave the entire motorcade the finger.

I understand that this was childish. It was a base and low form of expression. But I don't care. It felt good. I was speaking truth to power, as the expression goes. And it's just possible that Mr. McCain and Mrs. Palin were looking out the window of the "Straight Talk Express(tm)" at that moment, marveling at the post-apocalyptic grandeur that is West Detroit, and there I was.

Giving them the Finger.

Of course, the finger is a bit like a sawed off shotgun. I'm sure it hit some of the cops, the Secret Service guys and of course some of the media. I'm sorry about that. They didn't deserve it. Well, maybe some of the press guys, who haven't been able to ask Palin one damn thing so far and seem content to just go with it. But I'm sure they knew that my outburst wasn't meant for them.

I went on my merry way with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

City of Ember

Every one in a while I hear about a film that is waaaaay below the Radar. Sometimes its a small foreign film or something the studios won't promote like "The Fall".  

I just saw the trailer for City of Ember and I like what I see so far:

Extra Awesome

These guys have some shirts that I have truly fallen in love with. Wearscience!

We am smart...or IS we???

So I lost my wallet at GenCOn, and by 'lost' I mean it was swept up in my wife's corset. We found it later, but not before tearing apart the hotel room and cancelling several credit cards. Fun.

So what happens to my friend Griffin at DragonCon? He looses his wallet. I got a text message from Lindsey informing me of this. I suggested she check her corset for it. She replied that, as she was working for Griffin, she wasn't wearing a corset (gasp!). I suggested she check Griffins corset.

Ha ha, funny joke.

So where did his wallet turn up? In the wash. In his Utilikilt. The one he was wearing when he lost it.  Alas, he'd done the whole 'Cancel my life' thing already. Bummer.  At least he got his wallet back.

 It's been a strange season so far. Just wierd all around. Ohio Ren is like a fortress. I.D. and parking pass inspections, drug dogs (I am not joking) Parker gone... 

At Michigan I have seen three other shops carrying busked corsets. None of them are really very good, but I feel like everybody is just looking to get a piece of me there. 

Following the news is making me physically jittery. I have to stop reading the blogs. If McCain wins I will have honestly lost my faith in my fellow countryman to know the difference between a smart and dumb. I saw Guliani openly mock Obama for being a community organizer. WTF? You know what? Martin Luthor King was a community organizer you smug fuck. It's one of the hardest, most thankless and worst paying (if at all ) jobs in our country. Thanks for shitting on them.

i gotta get some sleep now..

Very cool...The Beatles

On my last drive up to the Michigan Ren I listened to NPR's All Songs Considered podcast which had an interview with the son of legendary Beatles manager George Martin. He and his father had been contacted to do a score for a Cirque du Soleil show called 'Love'.

The project involved remixing a number of classic Beatles tunes and results were so cool I bought the CD on Amazon. (It's not available on iTunes yet) I must admit, I like what they've done. A lot of new and rich textures are brought out. Through subtle changes and segues I heard things I had never heard before. No new shitty vocals by Madonna or that type of nonsense. No new instrumentals or techno backbeatsd. It's all the Beatles. And it's good.

Is it just me or has the world gone mad?

John McCain just chose Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, to be his VP running mate.

I did a wikipedia search and while she seems to be a decent person and a good governor so far, I don't think she is really the person for the job. Do you? About 3 months ago I opined to my wife that the perfect running mate for McCain was Condalezza Rice. She is smart, has a crapload of experience. She is Black AND a woman. While I hate the moron she works for, she doesn't seem to be innept at her job. And with Hillary out of the race, it would present a real chance to reach out to minorities and women. It would be a bold, gutsy move.

But the Republicans just couldn't do it. They couldn't push their party THAT far. A woman VP? Maybe. A Black VP? Hmmmm. But a Black woman VP? Oh Hell no.

So with all the other qualified women to choose from, why did they choose a woman who he met once for 15 min? Why did he choose someone with SO LITTLE experience? Sure, there have been other VP's who didn't have a massive amount of experience, but Palin's resume is almost empty.

Check out the last few VP's experience:

Dick Cheney: US Rep '79; Sec of Defense under Bush I
Al Gore: US Rep '77; US Senate '85
Dan Quayle: US Rep '77; US Senate '81
George HW Bush: US Rep '67; Ambassador to the UN '71; chairman of RNC; envoy to China; director of CIA
Walter Mondale: organized HHH's US Senate campaign in '48; US Senate, '65
Nelson Rockefeller: Gov of NY... for nearly 15 years

So what is the defence of this action? What is the comeback? Well, Obama has no real experience and he's running for the Big Chair.

Ok, lets compare the life experience of the two (via a comment at FARK.com):

OBAMA:
- Studied at Occidental College, Los Angeles.
- Graduate of Columbia (B.A., Political Science exp International Relations)
- Graduate Harvard Law School (J.D., magna cum laude).
- President, Harvard Law Review.
- Professor, Constitutional Law, University of Chicago Law School.

PALIN:
- One semester at Hawaii Pacific College
- Graduate, BS in "Communications/Journalism" at University of Idaho. (One of those degrees for people who can't handle math, science, law, physics, medicine or computers).

Well, I'd say they're about even in education, wouldn't you?

Another important measure of experience is LEADERSHIP.

OBAMA:
- Director, Developing Communities Project, Chicago, 1985-88. (Huge success story).
- This success led to: Consultant, Gamaliel Foundation.
- Editor, Harvard Law Review.
- Director, Project Vote.
- Professor, Constitutional Law, University of Chicago Law School.
- Member, Board of Directors, Woods Fund, Chicago.
- Member, Board of Directors, Joyce Foundation.
- Member, Board of Directors, Chicago Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law
- Member, Board of Directors, Center for Neighborhood Technology
- Member, Board of Directors, Lugenia Burns Hope Center
- Senator, Illinois State Senate (3 terms)
- Chairman, Illinois Senate Health and Human Services Committee
- Senator, United States Senate
- Candidate, US President

PALIN:
- Sports Reporter, KTUU Anchorage
- Member, Alaska Independence Party
- Councilmember, Wasilla Alaska
- Mayor, Wasilla City
- Governor, Alaska (~18 mos)

Oh, yeah. It's a dead heat in LEADERSHIP.

Finally, there's LIFE EXPERIENCE. It's hard to define and pin down. But a person's life experience is often a good indicator of their worldliness and sagacity. Let's compare!

OBAMA:
Born of mixed race parentage, son of a black Kenyan and a white Kansan. Endured parents' divorce, the family moved to Jakarta when he was 6. Moved to Hawaii to live with grandparents when he was 10. Excelled in school and experimented with soft drugs and alcohol. Became a reasonably talented basketball player. Moved to LA for college. Good grades got him to Columbia and Harvard. Traveled to Europe, Africa and Asia. Has now traveled extensively around the world. Married Michelle Robinson 1992. Two kids, girls. Authored two bestselling books, "Dreams of my Father" and "Audacity of Hope". Though not raised in a religious home, became an observant Christian. Has spoken about race relations and his personal experiences with eloquence and forthrightness.

PALIN:
Born in Sandpoint Idaho to white-bread middle-American parents. Moved to Alaska when an infant. Grew up in a religious Pentecostal household and remained observant. Went moose hunting with her father. A reasonably talented basketball player, she was known as "Barracuda" and led prayers before games. Won Miss Wasilla beauty pageant and placed second for Miss Alaska. Eloped with husband Todd Palin at 24. The couple have 5 kids, one of them an infant. In 2007, had her first ever trip overseas to visit Alaska National Guard troops in Kuwait and Germany. Claims to have visited Canada once. Has run a marathon and has a pilot's license.

This is the person who is a 72 year old heartbeat away from the presidency? Now, the President has a lot of people who help make the show run. There are layers and layers of agencies and experts that advise and prevent the POTUS from doing stupid and rash things. But that didn't stop Bush now, did it?

But if anyone tries to bring up the fact that Palin isn't the person for the job, fingers are pointed and cries of "Sexist!" arise. 'It's insulting to women!'.

What?

It doesn't matter that she's a woman at all with regard to her lack of experience.

Then there's the personal stuff. Obama won't go after it. But I'm not Obama, or anyone official. I'm just some guy with a blog. (aka 'An asshole with an opinion').

Palin gave birth 4 months ago to a child with Down Syndrome. That's a huge responsibility above and beyond the standard baby thing. Even with Dad helping out, how much time does the VP job give you to address the needs of such a child? Running the country is the most stressfull job around. It takes a lot of life out of those who hold the job. Look at Both Bush and Clinton before and after this job. They eat right, exercise and have the best healthcare of any American and the job still sucks out a lot of life.

Her 17 year old daughter is 5 months pregnant. She now has to pretend to be thrilled with this situation. Very few parents are thrilled to learn their 17 year old is pregnant. If only her kid had been given some better information, maybe access to contraception. But condoms are bad, aren't they? And waiting till marriage to have sex works so well, except when it doesn't. Luckily her parents have enough money to help their daughter out. Others might not be so lucky since she slashed funding for a transition house for teen mothers. Their family unit seems strong. Cool. Of course, if her daughter had been raped or the victim of incest or just not ready to be a parent Mrs. Palin believes she shouldn't have the right to get an abortion.

Yes, these things happen. Even to conservative, Christian families. Actually it happens to them more often. The difference here is that they feel they need to tell me about how they are the ones with 'values'. They are more 'moral'. Gays? They shouldn't get the right to marry. But I better not point out the hypocrisy of their unwed pregnant daughter. Their daughter will apparently 'do the right thing and get married". But what if that isn't the right thing? I know I wasn't ready to be a parent at 18. I can only imagine the pressure they are putting on the kid who fathered this child. Does that seem like the 'right thing?'.

These people believe they should be allowed to set government policy based on their 'family values' and their creepy holy book.

I know, Obama is a faithhead too. I support him despite his religion, not because of it.

I'm having a hard time believing the McCain team is this stupid. It's an obvious attempt to grab some disaffected Clinton supporters. They'll be sure to ignore Palins pro-life stance just to get a woman into the White House. They'll ignore her lack of experience completely. They'll ignore the fact that McCain wants to overturn Roe v Wade, put their sons and daughters through a few more wars and another trillion of debt.

Or they won't. Broads are funny that way.